God's Angry Children

I hate you right now. I cannot be steady. My brother says, "you have lost your mind." I think he is a bastard--a selfish bastard. When he said what he said--I was crushed and hated him. He should go to hell. But I know you would probably send me first. Why can't you save their family and everyone else who suffers like them if you are such a God of great compassion. If I were him, I wouldn't want to believe in you either. I have always been unhappy. You gave me a demon. No one can love me enough. Especially when your love is a lie and they can't admit it. What kind of sicko would send his only begotten son to the cross? The same kind of sicko that would molest his only begotten. Why didn't you hang there yourself? I can only talk like this to you because you are God--the only one who sees deep below the surface of me. Why did I run away this time? From what? Real love? I am sick and messed up. I have lost all faith and surety. Fix me. You can. So don't drag it out.