Thank You

Ok. I just wrote a pretty lengthy "thank you" post and just lost it. So, here goes again. Thanks for all of your words of affirmation. It really means a lot. My love language is words of affirmation.

Some certain someone thinks that I am weak because of my need for other people's affirmation. I am sleeping on it. But point taken, I am bothered by the fact that someone else thinks that I care what people think. :-)

Anyway, thanks again for your words of encouragement. It means a lot.

Anna

Just singing song over and over.

I just sat down and played a few of my songs tonight. These are some I haven't posted yet. Mostly my back is to you. These are songs that have been buried for a while and you will tell that I'm not used to singing or playing them.

I need to catch up on your blogs this weekend.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Anna

Performing

I have a lot of performances this month. About 7, not including church stuff. It is weird how satisfaction in life can be so very subtle. How we don't realize we enjoy something until after it is over. The big concert of the season for the children's choir is at the Pikes Peak Center, pictured above. I've played there once and I wished I was singing to all of those people instead of playing. I wish my boyfriend could come to see what it is that I do. But he can't. In fact, I found out today that he will be on probation at the academy again next semester. He is doing so well on probation that they don't want to take him off--supposedly. The military academy is so anti-female. And I don't care who reads this. I am not utilitarian. I'm so tired of calling my boyfriend my boyfriend. It sounds so trivial and I get no respect with that. And then, what would it mean if he were my fiance or husband? There are no one way tickets to merryland. You know how I derive my happiness? By looking at my past and thanking God that I'm not as miserable and tragic as I once was. I'm posting really quickly--so forgive my lack of sense. And you know what else I hate? Making copies and having to be politically savvy in a position where I make a little over minimum wage, in the copy room when I have 10 billion copies to make and teachers are waiting to make theirs. I just can't concentrate while they are standing there waiting and I am trying to figure out how to work the ##### machine. And all the older women always harrass me because they think I'm a student. I go to pick up some letterhead from the front office and I get questioned like I'm an undercover piece of. Anyway, I've never been good with stuff like that. The small stuff. Why does it bother me? I hate rules. I think we have rules because there is no good will. I don't know where I fit in.