I've Got It

Inger has posted several good posts. So be sure to check them out. I love it when she posts warm and fuzzy stuff. Now, totally unrelated--I am a shower freak. I can take 2 showers a day and a bath. Usually, I don't..but that is my inclination. Well, the point is..yesterday I didn't take a shower or a bath. I didn't do anything productive. I didn't go anywhere except outside to get the newspaper where I looked only at the classifieds for a job that I could do inbetween my two part-time jobs. I didn't see any. Or maybe I did. I'll leave that up to your imagination. I got out my "Writing Fiction" book from college (that I read NONE of DURING college) and it just laid on the bed beside me all day--I still didn't read anything but a little of the preface. And then last night I had the TV on--skimming through the channels and low and behold there was a writing program on public TV. It was talking about how different writers organize their writing differently: Outlines, clustering, skeleton outlines, listing, blah blah blah blah. How about this. I write, write, write, write just like I get in my car and drive, drive, drive--without knowing exactly where I'm going. The windows are down, the music is up and having the printed directions in front of me would, trust me, screw it ALL up. Why can't our imaginations guide us with wild abandon. Why must we try to harness a masterpiece and break it all to pieces claiming we can put it back together again?

I've been thinking about going back to school to get a degree that will better serve me. But then I think--there are people who do not have a degree that can get a job in the drop of a hat because they are either very confident or very naive. So, what do I do? I could never answer the questions in kindergarten about what I wanted to be when I grew up. And now I keep growing up and things keep changing but I'm still the same insecure gradeschooler waiting for someone else to raise their hand first.